Wacky Web Week

More fun than reporting on stock-market carnage

TV news anchors have a pretty tough gig: delivering the news with a poker face. Whether it means masking their anxiety during a grisly economic report or suppressing a smirk while dishing on Christian Bale’s latest freak-out, they’ve got to remain cool and collected. But what happens when the cameras stop rolling?

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Giving up on society? Get one of these!

Every few years, a product comes along that is inexplicably popular. Despite tedious advertising, a questionable concept, and mediocre value, consumers hand over their hard-earned dollars with reckless abandon to own the next hot-ticket item. One such phenomenon is the subject of this hilarious infomercial parody.

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The Force is not strong with this one

Everyone’s tastes in cinema are different, but there are just some films that we, as members of society at large, are expected to have seen. The Star Wars epic is among the ranks of these esteemed classics. Few and far between are the folks who haven’t joined Luke Skywalker and friends on their intergalactic quest to defeat the Dark Side.

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I’d eat an apple a day to keep this doctor away!

It seems like every time you turn on the TV, there’s an eye-catching new pharmaceutical commercial airing. Each new pill is packaged more beautifully than the last, and drug makers’ lofty claims promise an enticing array of health improvements — as long as you ignore the dubious side effects.

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More exciting than circling classified ads!

In these tough economic times, even qualified professionals are having trouble landing and keeping jobs. The new year brings the promise of a fresh start, but what can we really expect in 2009?

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Even Santa can go a little holiday crazy

The pressures of the holiday season are enough to drive anyone nuts. Just think what it can do to a man who already spends his days amongst tiny toymakers and flying reindeer. It’s not such a stretch to imagine that Santa might snap — and take some of the denizens of the North Pole with him!

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Hang on, I’ve got the perfect song for this!

It’s no wonder that portable music players have become so popular. With the right song playing in the background, ordinary actions can be transformed into extraordinary experiences. Everyday activities beg for personalized playlists: get in the groove of your daily workout, rock out while cleaning the house … the possibilities are endless, even if we’re not!

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Too bad there’s no do-over for this ‘I do’

Picture this: you’re about to marry the love of your life in front of all of your friends and loved ones. Everything’s going swimmingly. Your best man stands by your side, ready to play his part in the ceremony. He’s the perfect choice: responsible, trustworthy … so what if he’s also a little clumsy? At this point, nothing can dampen your spirits!

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I’ll call you back, I’m about to hit a dead zone

Cell phones have become a relative social necessity. Most users have embraced some semblance of cell-phone etiquette in public. But we unwritten-rule-abiding citizens are too often plagued by obnoxious, inconsiderate users.

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Keanu has encountered an error and must restart

Science fiction has long been popular with computer geeks: sci-fi films such as Blade Runner and The Matrix glorify the techie life. Supercomputer fantasies are all well and good, but come on! How do the movie folks get that big iron to run so darned smoothly?

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