Wacky Web Week

USDA classifies frozen French fries as fresh vegetables

Wait! Don’t dump that fast food! You can now eat French fries without
guilt because the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture classifies them as “fresh
vegetables” — and the government agency is winning court decisions when
the idea is challenged.

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Save $500 by changing one byte of code

Digital camera enthusiasts were pleasantly surprised last fall when Canon
released its 6-megapixel EOS 300D unit (at left in photo) for a list price
of only $899 (currently about $775 street at Shopping.com). This was hundreds
of dollars below Canon’s very similar EOS 10D (at right), which had
shipped earlier for $1,499 (about $1,275 street).

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College alumnus has the last laugh

‘Tis the season for college graduation ceremonies, and while most grads
are enduring some bureaucrat or another as their speaker, the matriculating
students of the College of William and Mary got — drum roll, please
Jon Stewart, the funnyman of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show”
(picture, left).

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The Shining, re-enacted by bunnies

In homage to the late, great Stanley Kubrick, and with apologies to Steven
King, Jennifer Shiman has created a Flash animation called The Shining in 30
Seconds as Re-Told Bunnies. This is just the kind of weird, offbeat,
cartoony humor that I know my readers like.

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Nice horn you’ve got there

Reuters reports (via CNN.com) that a male rhinoceros in a British
drive-through nature park got a little too user-friendly with a passenger
car that had stopped to watch him frolic with a lady rhino.

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The Subservient Chicken

Someone in a chicken costume rises from his perch and moves to the center
of the room, facing you. He just sort of gazes at you, as if waiting for
you to do something.

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“Magnetoids” will be the next “Tickle Me Elmo”

You read it here first — well, second. A shockingly simple new toy
(or is it a brilliant relaxation device?) has just gone on sale at a single
online e-tailer. I predict that these shiny little ovoids, left, will
take off like a rocket this year.

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Woman kills boyfriend with iPod, authorities say

Police in Memphis, Tennessee, arrested a 23-year-old woman on Mar. 5
after she allegedly bludgeoned her boyfriend to death with an Apple iPod,
a popular music player known for its hard, metal case, according to Headlined
News (photo, left).

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Now for a Web page that’s really stupid

One of the most hilarious things I’ve seen in weeks is a Web page
that simply lists, in lines of plain text, reason after reason that
every proposal to eliminate

spam won’t work. The page begins as a response
to a Usenet posting: “Your post advocates a ( ) technical
( ) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante
approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work.” It ends with,
“and you’re a stupid person for suggesting it…”, with much frivolity
in between.
See SpamSolutions.txt

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Everyone will be married to Britney Spears for 15 minutes, study finds

One of my favorite news sites on the Web is Chortler.com, which calls itself
a satirical online newspaper. Every day, they come up with great stories
such as this: “A report a team of sociologists has found that Jason
Alexander, a complete unknown just days ago, has started a whole new wave
in wedding trends – everyone will be married to Britney Spears for 15
minutes.” The site doesn’t dwell merely on entertainment news, however,
digging equally into candidates from Democrats to Republicans and events
both large and small. (“Pretzel attack planned before September 11, Paul
O’Neil claims.”)

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