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  1. #1
    Plutonium Lounger Leif's Avatar
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    A man in Aberdeen calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ‘I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.’

    'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

    'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer' the father says. 'We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her'.

    Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ‘Like hell they're getting divorced’ she shouts, ‘I'll take care of this!’

    She calls Aberdeen immediately, and screams at her father ‘You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?’ and hangs up.

    The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.'

  2. #2
    Plutonium Lounger
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  3. #3
    Plutonium Lounger
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    I needed a good laugh this morning, thanks for sharing.

  4. #4
    3 Star Lounger HeyJude's Avatar
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    That's fabulous~! Reverse psychology in its finest hour

    Hey Jude
    Take a sad song and make it better

  5. #5
    5 Star Lounger
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    Very good Leif

    Hope the Scots among us don't think this is us Southern softies ganging up on them (1/8 inch of snow today and -4 at heathrow at 04:30), but

    Hamish MacTavish dies on Christmas Eve and his wife goes to the local paper to put in an obituary. The editor informs her that it is £1.00 per word

    Mrs MacTavish says "what with it being Christmas and all and having the 4 bairns to feed I can only afford £5.00" and writes

    - Hamish MacTavish from Parkhead dead -

    In a sudden moment of unusual kindness and feeling sorry for the lady the editor says, go on, add a few words for free, so she rewrites the message

    - Hamish MacTavish from Parkhead dead, unwanted Ford Cortina for sell £150.00 -

    Boom boom
    Cheers

    Steve

    Asking the questions everbody wants the answers too but feels too stupid to ask themselves :-)

  6. #6
    4 Star Lounger
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    Nah, ah dinnae get that ane...
    John (Unreconstructed Jacobite)

  7. #7
    Lurker
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    this is cute - makes one smile- everybody needs a good laugh sometimes

  8. #8
    New Lounger
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    Enjoyed reading those. As someone's already said, we all need a laugh so thanks a lot
    Economical to run but not cheap to acquire

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