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  1. #1
    Uranium Lounger viking33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Cape Cod, Massachusetts, USA
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    The Night Before Christmas- Revised

    Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
    I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
    Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
    in hopes we could manage, "Some assembly required."
    The children were quiet ( not asleep ) in their beds,
    while Dad and I faced the evening with dread.
    A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot.
    And thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot.
    We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat,
    Let no parts be be missing or parts incomplete.
    To late for last minute returns or replacement.
    If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement.
    When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
    50 sheets of instructions, concise but not clear.
    With each part numbered and every slot named,
    so if we failed only we could be blamed.
    More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
    all over the carpet they were scattered about.
    "Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there,
    Slide on the seats and staple the chair.
    Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand,
    "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued up my hand."
    And then in a twinkling, I know for a fact,
    that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact.
    To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night,
    "with assembly required" till mornings first light.
    We spoke not a word, but kept bent to our work,
    Till our eyes, they went bleary. Our fingers all hurt.
    The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin,
    before we attached the last rod and last pin.
    The laying the tools away in the chest,
    we fell into bed for a well deserved rest.
    But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
    "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt."
    Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
    and not have to run to the store for a thing.
    We did it! We did it! The toys are all set,
    For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!
    The off to dreamland, at last sweet repose,
    I gratefully went, Although I suppose.
    There's something to say for those self-deluded,
    I'd forgotten that batteries are never included.
    Author unknown.


    Long ago, there was a time when men cursed and beat on the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft.
    Today it is called golf!

  2. #2
    Platinum Lounger
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    A Magic Forest in Deepest, Darkest Kent
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Thank you Bob I have always enjoyed this.

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